For my journals sake, I thought I would put some things down about this pregnancy. It has been so different (in my mind) than when I was pregnant with Aiden.
Emotions & Such
I know I still have 8-10 weeks left but I notice I am much more ready to have this baby than I was with Aiden. I think with him I had a more real sence of time. I still have 2 months left and I am getting closer and closer to the "any day now" mode. I don't mean to complain. I'm not miserable. Uncomfortable at times, but nowhere near miserable. I think that because I know how much I love the newborn stage, I am just super excited for it to be here.
I also am finding myself fighting off feelings of panic about the baby's health. I know they are unfounded feelings because the doctors say everything is right where it should be and the baby is healthy, growing, and normal. But because of my miscarriages, I think I get myself worked up at much smaller things than I need to.
Complains about Aches & Pains
This time around I feel much bigger. With Aiden I had a false sence of how enormous I was. I thought I looked a lot better than I did. Which is probably a good thing or I would have been super depressed. But this time, although I am in much better shape and weigh about 20 lbs less, I am very aware of how far out this tummy of mine is.
I've had crummy heartburn the last few nights. I don't know what it is that I eat or don't eat that causes it, but its there.
With Aiden, even in the beginning of my pregnancy, I had terrible leg cramps that would wake me up every night in agony. My doc said to increase my calcium and potasium, which I had already done, but nothing seemed to help. I am so happy that I haven't had that problem this time. Not even once. I have been taking a calcium supplement along with my prenatals since last February and I think that it has helped this time.
I think I have relatively good energy levels right now. I still nap when Aiden naps most days, but that's mostly cause I just love my sleep. I am able to accomplish the things I want to usually. Jeremy is helping to pick up the slack on things like sweeping and vaccuming that I can't bring myself to do. I appreciate him so much for that.
My Little Monkey
I try to remind myself that this is the last 2 months that Aiden is my only concern. I have tried to focus on that in the past few weeks. He is so good to play on his own, so sometimes I tend to take advantage of that. But I've been trying to take him to the park, play with him, read to him more and do whatever I can to make the most of this time where he is my one and only. I'm still amazed sometimes how easily he has become our everything. I am so excited for Aiden to have a little brother. I'm so excited for our family to grow over the next few years. But there is a part of me, right now (I'm SURE this will change as SOON as this baby is born), that will be sad to leave this stage of my life where it is just him.
Lastly
I am so unbelievably grateful for this little one we are going to have. I know that somethings can't be fully appreciated until we can't have them in our own time. Having the 2 miscarriages has helped me to be grateful for this pregnancy and for Aiden more than I think I could have been without experiencing that pain and sorrow. I don't wish it on anyone but I thank Heavenly Father for my own trials because I know they have made me stronger. I love my little family!
2 comments:
You're in the home stretch! Since Canon was born a month early and I worked up until the minute he was born, the 2nd time around was much different. The last couple weeks of Zane's pregnancy was torture and I didn't think I could be pregnant for one more second, but I think you have a much more positive outlook than I did. :) Aiden will be a great big brother.
I'm going to have to say I hated being pregnant and I felt like I whined the whole time! I think if you need to complaine you have every right. We go through so much! Why can't we just order our babies on the internet and have them shipped when we're ready? That would be so much easier :)
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